Good Friday

 I'm going to start out with weekly blogs. My blogs will focus on my health, my life, my dog and Jesus. I've got so much going on in my head, I hope I can find the proper words to express myself. 

Today let's talk about my health. Most of you know that I struggle with my physical health and have for many years. What you may not know is that I struggle with my mental health as well. Namely, anxiety and depression.  Years ago, I mean like 30 years ago I was suicidal. I was in so much pain mentally. I felt lost and rejected. I believed that people were just nice to me bc of pity not that they actually cared. Then one night I was at a leadership meeting at the church and I asked for prayer for my back. Not only did God touch my back but He delivered me from suicidal thoughts. He poured His joy into my heart and I began laughing during the prayer. I can say with confidence that I have NEVER had a suicidal thought since then. I do still occasionally get depressed but those dark thoughts are GONE. I thank God for His deliverance. If you struggle with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to me. I cannot promise God will deliver you but I can promise He will walk with you. 

I Peter 5:7 NKJV

[7] casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

https://bible.com/bible/114/1pe.5.7.NKJV

Until next week 

Your forever Friend,

Keena

What Ive gained

Hello

Ive talked alot about what Ive lost on this health/ spiritual journey but now I want to talk about what I have gained.
Growing up and even into adulthood, I had a very low self esteem or confidance. For a long time, I had believed that my friends were just pretending to like me and were just tolerating me out of kindness/pity. I will not go into how I came to believe that. Its not important. On the physical side, I thought myself to be fat and ugly. As you can see I did not have a high opinion about myself. Although I still have more weight to lose, I now consider myself "Big but beautiful"

However, as I have been seeking God more and more and by making healthy changes, my mind, body, and heart have begun to heal. I still have a long way to go physically. I still have many more pounds to lose but I have seen some small improvements. Will I be completely healed of my conditions? Only God knows that answer but I will continue to strive for a healthier me.

Through this journey my confidance and self esteem are rising. Its not bc of what Ive done. Its all bc I am learning who I truely am. I am a daughter of The King. I am a Child of God. I have been adopted into the Royal Family. My need of approval by man is fading. I have the approval of God Almighty.  My heart and soul are being healed daily. Dont get me wrong though. I still struggle with my human emotions. I believe we all will until we see Jesus face to face. As I fill my mind/heart/soul with the truth of God's word the lies of the enemy do not have the hold on me like they once did. I understand it will be a constant battle until we see Christ. His word says we are at war and I plan to fight(with Christ, of course).

This journey will not end once I reach my "weight" goal. This is a lifetime journey of healing.  I encourage each of you to begin your own journey of health and healing. 

If you dont know God and His awesome love for you and you want to know more, please reach out to me. I would love to introduce you to the love of your life. Falling in love with God is the best thing I have ever done.

Have a great week
Keena

Steps to MY Success

Good afternoon,
Before I get into the meat of my blog let me make a small disclaimer: These steps are working  for ME and when it comes to weight loss every BODY is different. I am NOT saying this is how YOU must do it but I am seeing small improvements in my health and in my mind.

We all can agree that our mindset can affect our body. So along with changing what I did physically I changed what I did to create a positive mindset. Since I am a Christian, a lot of my changes dealt with the spiritual.

I became diligent in reading the Word of God on a DAILY basis. I now get up early to soak in His Word. Every morning that I am able I listen to a faith filled teacher. Plus, I listen to sermons online. I find the promises of God (in His Word) that I want to manifest in my life and speak them ALOUD over my life every day. Of course, I talk with God every day as well. I also feel led to partake of communion by myself at home once a week.

Physically, I eat VERY different. I eat a mostly(%90) plant based diet. I have stopped sodas altogether. I have dramatically cut down on refined sugars. No fast food other than an occassional Chick fil A or maybe a salad, if its a decent one. I limit fried foods. I have stopped eating pork. My next goals are to increase my water intake, to increase movement and to get in natural sunlight. Today I actually did 20 minutes of gentle stretching. I would like to include walking on the treadmill as well. Now, when I say walk its only fast enough to keep me moving. Its like 1.5 mph and I can only do like 5 minutes.

Besides the improvements that I shared from my medical update, I am less sleepy during the day although I still need my naps most days. In the past I would sleep 10 to 18 hrs a day. I still need a recover day if I am busy the day before. My legs still go numb if I stand more than 15 minutes at a time. I have been able to do more around the house but I still have to sit and rest during activities. I am by NO means cured. I still have a LONG way to go before I can say that. My attitude toward life has greatly improved. I am the happiest I think I have ever been. Now hold on, my life is not perfect. I still struggle with pain almost on a daily basis. I have obstacles, trials, and temptations just like everyone else BUT....I can honestly say I am content and I am blessed.

With all my love,
Keena

A little bit about my life

My Life with CFS

I was active as a child, teen and young adult.  I played softball, did dance, performed in school plays, and was very active in church.  As a young adult, i volunteered at my church working with teens.  I have co-directed VBS, organised church wide events, and have create a children's programs. I have supervised lock ins, car washes, and youth retreats.   I did this while working full time, going to school part time, and even working 2 jobs. So to say the least, I have always been a person who stayed busy with life and I loved every minute of it.   Then in 2003 I developed an upper respiratory infection and was out of work for a week.  Later in that week, I received a phone call that a family member was ill and may not make it through the weekend.   Despite being sick, my mother and I drove 12 hours to be with family.  We stayed at the hospital for several more hours.  Thus, we were without sleep for like 36 hours straight.  When I finally got to bed, I literally felt something "switch" in my body.  I cannot explain it fully but I did feel something odd.  I told myself that I was going to pay for this.  I never knew it would be for a life time.  After returning home( the family member survived and was able to go home...she died 6 months later), I continued to be sick.  I had lost all energy.  I keep getting reoccurring infections and my energy level was at an all time low.  My doctor performed all types of test to see why I was continually getting infections.   Every test came back negative.   Finally,  after a year of reoccurring infections and lack of energy, the dr said that I may have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  At first I thought YES I have an answer, but that was short lived when I was told there was NO treatment for this.  My dr prescribed an anti-depressant that was supposed to help with fatigue and B-12 shots to help as well. They helped for awhile but I never felt like I had the energy that I should.  I did everything I could to get better.  I took medicines, rested, had the pastor lay hands on me but all to no avail.  In 2005 I decided to resign my position in the church.  I could no  longer be dependable to assist with the youth.  It was a hard decision but I did not have the energy to teach and participate in all the activities that we provided to the children.  After resigning my position, I quit attending church all together.  It was not that I no longer trusted God.  It was that I had no energy to get ready in the mornings.  In 2008 I was hospitalized due to severe high blood pressure.  Due to the trauma of that week, I developed Fibromyalgia.  It mainly affected my legs.  I cannot stand or walk long distances without feeling weak or hurting.  It took its toll on my job and in March of 2010 I had to resign from my job.  I am now on disability.   It has been a hard road but I have been blessed with a supportive and awesome husband that tries so hard to make life easier for me.
My days are less active than in my younger days.  I have to pace myself to keep from crashing.  Most days are spent on the couch.  However, I am trying to regain some strength.  I am trying to live healthier.  I am trying to make the most out this situation.  It has definitely brought me closer to God. I have learned to trust Him more.  I miss my old body.  I miss my active days.  I am looking for ways to make me feel better. I keep trusting and believing that God has a purpose for allowing me to go through this. 

Sorry about the green background. It copied that way.

With Love, 

Keena